


Beyond the Brink of Eternity

by isaw_eternity_theothernight



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Timelines, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Badass Rey, Dimension Travel, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Force Dyad (Star Wars), Multiverse, Post-Canon Fix-It, Post-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Rey & Rose Tico Are Best Friends, Slow Burn, Soft Ben Solo, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker Fix-It, That's Not How The Force Works, World Between Worlds
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-06
Updated: 2020-04-04
Packaged: 2021-02-27 03:18:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 19,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22140139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/isaw_eternity_theothernight/pseuds/isaw_eternity_theothernight
Summary: Ahsoka sat crosslegged in front of Rey. "Every single choice we make creates a new reality. Every single possibility that could be, is.""And Ben is fractured across the possibilities? Across the multiverse?"She nodded, blue eyes appraising Rey. "Ben's soul shattered when he brought you back. There wasn't enough life in himself for it to hold onto. The pieces of him are in that," she gestured at the red crystal between Rey's fingers, "and between alternate versions of himself, and in you.""Me?""How else did you think you'd find him? Let the Force guide you back to him, a piece at a time. You can bring him home, Rey."***Ben's soul fractures across a vast multiverse at the point of his death on Exegol. Rey embarks on a journey to collect and piece together the shards, navigating alternate realities as she battles to bring him home.Tags will be updated as the story progresses.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Maz Kanata & Rey, Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey & Rose Tico, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 14
Kudos: 45





	1. Perchance to Dream

**Author's Note:**

> Over the summer I read this amazing series of books by Claudia Gray called the Firebird trilogy, which has to do with dimension hopping and alternate universes. It also heavily inspired this fan fiction. After the emotional devastation that was TROS, I'm hoping that this will satisfy both my need for a project and my need to give Ben and Rey a better ending than they got.
> 
> That being said, prepare for both angst and fluff, since we'll be doing a lot of dimension hopping and there are going to be some crazy scenarios that these two sad space kids get themselves into. Also prepare for a slow burn... since technically Ben is dead right now. I'll be updating the tags and rating as we go.
> 
> Enjoy!

_The dark metal beneath her feet rings as she runs through an endless labyrinth of cavernous hallways, unnaturally empty in the cold light. She doesn’t know who she is running to – or from – but with every step it gets harder to pick up her feet, as if the ground itself is sucking her under. One last turn and into sterile white quarters, before the ground gapes beneath her and she’s falling_

_And landing in the snow, on a base that no longer exists outside of her nightmares, fighting a memory. The cold stings her bare arms, her hands frozen around the hilt of her lightsaber. Red and blue flare against each other and she forces his blade down, down_

_Right before he drops it, startling both of them. Water crashes around them and she grabs the hilt of his saber, watches herself plunge it into him without remorse or restraint. He falls away from her, a hand reaching out and she can’t save him this time, her feet stuck to the ruins she stands on, rooted to the spot._

_The vision shifts and they’re back on Exegol, and she watches him fall again, knowing he will die if she doesn’t help him. Every ounce of strength within her, her entire being goes to heal him. When he opens his eyes again it is the soulless yellow of the Sith staring back at her, and a voice that is not his croaking her name._

_“You cannot escape your destiny, little Rey.” Too late she sees her hands swinging a lightsaber blindingly fast, straight through his torso. Too late does she look up to see the warm brown return to his irises, his deep voice whispering her name like a prayer._

_“Rey.”_

_And then she falls again, backwards, cut in half with her own blade, down and down until darkness surrounds her, shot through with white-hot lightning and an echoing cackle. The wind whips around her and she is dimly aware of her own voice screaming into the abyss, nearly drowned out by the rush of air._

_Another voice, this one gentle and much softer, whispers to her “You’re not alone, Rey. Find me.”_

_Pain laces through her again and she screams._

“No!”

Rey sat straight up in bed, her lightsaber shooting to her hand. The yellow blade shone dimly in the dark room, inches away from the neck of a very startled Rose Tico. The women stared at each other for a moment before Rey blinked and extinguished her saber, embarrassment quickly flushing its way up her neck. “Sorry,” she mumbled, placing it back on the bedside table and swinging her legs off the narrow pallet to rest on the floor.

Rose swallowed, her heart shaped face pinched with concern for her friend, hesitating only slightly before settling in next to Rey. “Was it the nightmares again?”

“When is it not?” Rey groaned and rested her head in her hands, the slick of sweat dampening her palms. She was rapidly starting to shiver outside the suffocating tangle of her blankets, her soaked underclothes providing no comfort from the cool air. Somewhere in the back of her mind she registered Rose tucking a blanket around her shoulders.

Rose leaned her head against Rey’s shoulder, soothing in her easy familiarity. “Want to talk about it?”

“There isn’t much to say. It’s nearly the same every time.” She paused to rearrange the blanket around her friend’s shoulders, cocooning them both in the warm fabric. “I’m running, and then I’m fighting – him – and then he dies.”

“In your arms?”

“Every time.” Rey had admitted this to her one evening after having a little too much to drink, the two women laying under the stars together arm in arm. She loved Finn like a brother, and Poe was…well, Poe, but something about Rose made her easier to talk to about things she thought she would take with her to her grave.

She made an effort to smile. “I’m sorry you drew the short straw and got me as a roommate.”

Rose swatted her leg easily. “You dummy, who else would I live with?” Rey cracked a genuine smile at that. “Did…did anything new happen this time? Did you hear the voice again?”

Rey felt her smile fade. “Nothing new, same voice.” She sighed and ran a hand through her hair, trying to smooth it back into its braid. “I wish I knew what she wanted.”

“You’ll figure it out.” Rose, her eyes closed against Rey’s shoulder, was ever the optimist. “What do you want?”

_What do I want?_

“I guess,” she began hesitantly, “that I want to know where he is. I want to know why he hasn’t come to me. And-“ this was the hard part “if he’s happy, if he’s at peace, I want to know. I don’t think I can be at peace until I know if he’s really gone.”

Rose sat up and looked at her sleepily. Rey wondered what time it was. She didn’t know the last time she’d gotten more than three hours of sleep in a night. “I think,” Rose said, “that you need to go find out.”

“Really?”

“Really. If for no other reason than that we’ll both be able to sleep better.”

Rey snorted out a laugh. “Go back to sleep, fuzzball.” Rose, already climbing back into her bunk waved a lazy hand back at her.

“You too, laserbrain. Quit thinking so much!”

The women grinned at each other again before Rose stretched and scooted back under the covers. Within a few minutes she was gently snoring again, the night’s disturbance already lost to the seduction of sleep.

Rey leaned over to glance at the chrono. The green numbers blinked back lazily: 0406. She grimaced, knowing that any further attempts at getting rest would be fruitless. Taking one last glance at Rose’s slumbering form, she grabbed her soap and a change of clothes and slipped out the door, padding silently down the hallway toward the fresher.

***

Three hours later, Rose meandered down the long hallway toward the canteen, her hair damp around her neck. The base was beginning to wake up for the day, and the line for breakfast already stretched past the door. She scanned the room, her eyes landing on a familiar sight. Near the corner of the room, huddled next to a window looking out on a dense thicket, sat Rey. She looked impossibly alert, in spite of the dark purple marks under her eyes, as she poured over her stack of Jedi manuscripts.

Rose paused long enough to grab two steaming mugs of caf, then carefully made her way through the crowd and slid onto the bench across from her friend.

“Whatcha reading?” Rey jumped, making an undignified squawk of surprise at her friend’s approach. “Woah there, it’s just me.” She held out a mug, which Rey accepted with a grateful smile.

“I couldn’t seem to go back to sleep. This,” she gestured airily at the books and papers strewn about “seemed like a better use of my time.”

Rose squinted at her. “You didn’t even try to go back to sleep.” The silence which followed was enough of an answer for her. “Rey,” she said as gently as she could, “if he cared about you enough to bring you back, to give his life for you, I don’t think he would want to see you wasting away like this.”

Rey looked down at her caf, willing the steam to camouflage the tears welling up in her eyes. “I’m afraid to even go to sleep, most nights.” Once she admitted it, it was hard to stop the rest from pouring out. “I don’t know how long I can last, watching myself kill him every time I shut my eyes.” Rose nodded, eyes soft, sympathy written across her brow.

“I can’t promise that it’ll ever stop hurting. I still dream about Paige, and it’s been nearly two years since she died. You learn to live with it, though. And every day you’ll wake up and you’ll remember the good things, and the pain will get easier to bear.” The two shared watery smiles, their hands clutched on the table over an old stack of notes.

Rey let out a huff of laughter, wiping her eyes. “We’re quite the pair, huh?”

“We’re the dream team, kid.” She started to pile the notebooks and texts back into their stack. “We’ve got it all: shared trauma, mechanics training, and,” she took an exaggerated glance around the compound, “most importantly at the moment-“

“A working understanding of Shyriiwook!” The two laughed, the mood lightened considerably, as they got in line for breakfast behind a pair of Wookies.

Half an hour later, as she trailed a few steps behind Rose and Chewbacca, Rey found herself in considerably higher spirits than when she had arrived at the cafeteria. With a full stomach and a fuller morning of meetings ahead (she and Rose were the Resistance delegates assigned to help bring Kashyyyk into the fledging Republic), she could almost ignore the aching in her heart.

Almost.

***

Meditation had never come easily to Rey. In spite of Leia’s assurances that she just needed more practice, she had always suspected that some part of the problem was in the constant presence of her bondmate at the periphery of her mind, the ebb and flow of him breaking her concentration more often than she would care to admit. Meditation also happened to be one of the activities that consistently connected them; Rey lost count of the times she had opened her eyes to see his large body across from her, his familiar pout mirroring her own disgruntled expression.

At the same time, there had been in those meditations a feeling of oneness, of belonging, that she’d been unable to replicate in the months since Exegol. The bond still hummed in her senses, but when she followed it, tugged on her end, the only answer was a resounding emptiness. It no longer led anywhere, only a faint echo of her own desperate pull.

Nearly a year after losing him and it still felt like she had been torn in half. Rey could scarcely remember how it felt to be whole, anymore.

She suspected that Rose knew she hadn’t been meditating much since Exegol. She also imagined that Rose didn’t particularly care what she was doing, so long as she was out of the hangar and away from potentially explosive mechanical parts. The morning’s meetings had gone smoothly – the Wookies were pleased with the invitation into the new Republic and incredibly amused with their attempts at speaking Shyriiwook. _Han would be pleased_ , Rey had mused, watching Chewie and Rose outline the next steps toward representation, the former waving his arms excitedly.

Still, her nights of restlessness were catching up with her, and no amount of caf in the galaxy could keep her awake forever. Only an hour or so into the afternoon, and Rose was shooing her away from the machines before “Something catches on fire and we all die because you’re too stubborn to sleep, Rey!” So much for being helpful.

Alone in their quarters Rey stared up at the wooden beams, tracing the grain with her eyes and willing herself to fall asleep. She glanced at the chrono.

She rolled over.

She glanced at the chrono again and groaned, burying her head in her pillow and squeezing her eyes shut. Red and blue sparks clashed behind her lids, violent memories brought back unbidden in the quiet of the room.

Sleep would be impossible, at this rate. Tossing her pillow aside, Rey rolled off the bed and onto the hard floor, grunting at the impact, and scootched back to rest against her bunk. She folded her tired limbs under her body and closed her eyes. At the very least she might be able to calm some of the loneliness within herself, and at the most… Well, falling asleep during meditation wasn’t necessarily unprecedented.

Out of habit she whispered, “Be with me,” into the still air. She couldn’t remember the last time anyone had bothered to answer her.

It was surprisingly easy to slip into meditation, given her attempts over the past month. The swirling tendrils of the Force curled around her and pulled her deeper into the living world around her, the vibrant hum of life on Kashyyyk a glowing pinprick in the vastness of the universe. It was a calm she hadn’t experienced since sitting on the ledge on Ahch-to.

There was something else, too, something that she was meant to see. A vague pull from some distant corner of the universe. Rey took a deep breath and let go of her last remaining tether to her own body and opened her mind to it, allowing the Force to guide her. The pull grew stronger, and then

_Darkness._

_No, not entirely dark._

_There are stars, here, wherever here is. Rey can’t feel her body – she can’t tell where she ends, and the universe begins._

_Strangely enough, she isn’t afraid._

_“Rey.”_

_The voice that calls out to her is familiar, although she can’t place it. It’s like something out of a dream, or a distant memory. She wants to ask._

_“You can talk to me, if that’s what you’re wondering. I won’t bite.” There is a touch of amusement now, as if the face belonging to the voice is smiling at her. Rey decides the voice sounds more female than anything._

_Rey would smile back, if she knew where her body was. Instead, she’s preoccupied with trying to figure out how to talk without a mouth. How would a mind speak without a body to form the words?_

_She decides to think as loudly as possible in the general direction of the voice. “Where am I?” The words come out as clearly as if she’d spoken to Rose in the cafeteria._

_“You’re nowhere.” A pause, and then, “and everywhere. We’re… in between.”_

_“Am I dead?”_

_“No, you’re just in deep meditation. We needed to talk. I’ve been trying to reach you.”_

_Rey thinks about that for a moment. “Are you dead, then?”_

_The voice laughs out loud. “No, kid, not exactly, despite the best attempts of several people. I’m a guardian of sorts.” There is a noise like someone clearing their throat and Rey wishes she can see the person talking to her. “I should probably have introduced myself before trying to jump into things. My name is Ahsoka.”_

_The name does not ring any bells but considering Rey’s lack of knowledge of the history of the Jedi, that doesn’t mean much. “Are you a Jedi?”_

_“For a time, although not a very good one. I trained under Anakin Skywalker, during the Clone Wars.” She pauses, letting Rey digest this new information. “I left the Order, struck out on my own.” Another pause, then her voice comes again, softer this time. “We’re the same, you and I. Seeking out balance in the universe, unable to let go of attachments and feelings but unwilling to let them rule us, either. That’s why I’m reaching out to you now.”_

_“Are you going to give me an assignment? Something the Force wants me to do?” Rey tries her best not to let her annoyance bleed through into her voice. “Haven’t I lost enough? Is it never going to be over?”_

_Ahsoka sighs. “The Force needs to be balanced, kid. Half of a dyad doesn’t balance much of anything.”_

_Rey feels her anger building, her voice turning sharp and brittle. “Believe me, if there was anything I could do about that, I would! He’s gone, and I can’t find him, and our bond is broken, and I’m completely alone again.” She wishes she is able to cry in this place, the need to rage at the universe threatening her both composure and concentration._

_“I didn’t bring you here to make you do this alone, Rey. I brought you here because I know how you can reach him. I know where he is.”_

_The stars around her grow brighter, the universe cracking apart at the seams. Rey feels her composure slipping through her fingers, knows her meditative state is fracturing. “Tell me where to find him!” she shouts, desperate, aware that she has only seconds left in this strange in-between place._

_“Go see Maz Kanata.” Ahsoka’s voice is faint, as if the brilliant starshine is muffling her voice. “She will show you how to find me.”_

_Rey thinks she’ll go blind from the light before she has a chance to find anyone. “But how-“_

_“We don’t have time. Come to me, Rey. I promise I can help.”_

_The light consumes her, and she is floating in the brilliance of the Force itself. Ahsoka’s voice cuts through one final time._

_“Sleep, kid.”_

_Then darkness._

Her eyes opened. It was disorienting, at first, being back in a body. She stretched her limbs slowly, uncurling first one leg, then the other, like a lothcat waking up after a long nap. For the first time in months, both her body and soul felt well-rested.

Rey sat up in bed (didn’t she start meditating on the floor?) and glanced out the high window. The moon hung over the trees, bathing the campus in silvery light. 

How long was she out?

A snore answered her. She glanced across the room, where a Rose-shaped lump lay huddled in the opposite bunk. Apparently she’d been sleeping for hours. Force knew she’d need it in the upcoming days, the conversation with Ahsoka still fresh in her mind.

Find Maz.

Find Ahsoka.

And then… Rey wouldn’t allow herself to hope. Not yet. There had been too much pain already, and hoping was a dangerous pastime when trying to avoid any more.

At the same time, as she moved quietly around the room gathering her belongings, she felt more alive than she had in the last year.

A change of clothes, the ration packs she’d been storing under her bed, her small medkit, her cloak… Rey paused to consider the Jedi tomes, then left them on the small desk, instead grabbing her holopad from its drawer. She clipped lightsaber to her belt, slipped her blaster into its holster, and moved to the door, only to turn around and walk back to Rose’s bunk.

It was easy to love Rose. In the days after Exegol they had formed a close friendship born of mutual loneliness. She could always make Rey laugh, and in that moment, Rey wished desperately that Rose was coming with her.

“Are we going to make a habit of looming over the other in their sleep, or is this payback for yesterday?” Rose squinted up around the blankets, eyes slightly unfocused.

“I didn’t mean to wake you-“

“For a Jedi, you move awfully loudly.” Rose rubbed her eyes. “Where are you going?”

Rey swallowed. “You were right, before.”

“I was?”

“I’m going to find him. I’m going to bring him home.”

“Who?”

She reached into her bag, grabbing hold of his worn sweater in one hand and taking Rose’s in the other. “Ben. I’m going to bring him back.”

Rose squeezed her hand, grinning up at her. “I always knew you would.” She propped herself up on one elbow. “Do you have enough rations? Enough clothes?”

Rey nodded. “I do. I’ll be ok. I’ll be back.”

“Promise you’ll be safe?”

She smiled at her friend. “I promise.” She turned toward the door and, with one last glance around the room, latched it behind her.

“I’m coming, Ben. Hang on.”


	2. Things Belonging to the Dead

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey reaches Takodana and ends up with more questions than answers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello and thank you to everyone who has read and commented on my story so far! I thrive off of positive reinforcement. This chapter is still exposition, so bear with me. Things will get crazier from here.

The white-blue of hyperspace streaked past the windows, illuminating the narrow cockpit of the X-Wing and the slumped figure of its pilot. There was very little room to stretch out in the X-Wing, the ship having been built for combat rather than long-distance travel, and Rey had spent the first half hour or so trying to find a comfortable position to curl up in that didn’t knock against any controls or cause her legs to go numb. 

Such a position did not exist. 

She’d spent the next hour arguing internally about her decision to leave Kashyyyk on the basis of some disembodied voice’s assurances that she could find Ben. It had been drilled into her during her training with Luke and Leia that the dark side of the Force seduced people by offering them something they desperately wanted or needed, and she didn’t think she’d ever wanted something so badly in her life.

Was it worth the risk? Could she be putting herself in danger of falling if she sought out this Jedi? At the same time, the woman had sounded kind, and with no other Force ghosts reaching out to her she didn’t have a lot of options. 

Her internal struggle was halfhearted at best; the arguments she came up with for turning around before even reaching Maz sounded hollow as she thought them. Ultimately, she settled on going as far as Takodana and talking to Maz, the way she’d been instructed to, and deciding from there whether to abandon the whole operation and head back to base or to keep searching for Ahsoka. 

Dark Rey, the Rey who’d wanted Ben even when he was Kylo Ren, the Rey who had nearly killed him, who delighted in the thrill of battle and who loved the feeling of power singing in her blood, whispered into the back of her mind. _Would it be so bad, tapping into the dark to bring him back? You can use your power without giving in to it._

She shoved the voice back into the dark recesses of her thoughts. Her lineage may have sprung from the dark side, but she was unwilling to give in to the temptation it offered her. Force be damned, Rey was going to make her own destiny. 

Now, sitting awkwardly in the cockpit, her knees tucked up to her chin under Ben’s sweater, she allowed herself to simply _be._ No war, no allies or pockets of First Order loyalists, no meetings with strange dignitaries from unpronounceable planets, no insistent tugging on the bond in the back of her mind. Rey simply existed within the unfathomable vastness of space, a streak of light splitting through the darkness, with not even the insistent chirping of a droid to keep her company.

It was incredibly lonely. 

Rey glanced down at the softly glowing control panel and sighed. The trip to Takodana was a short one, at least compared to the multi-day journeys from one corner of the galaxy to the other that she had taken in the last two years, but it felt like an eternity was stretching before her in the silence of hyperspace and the aching of her own heart. She leaned her head back against the worn leather seat and closed her eyes against the brilliance of the stars. 

***

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

Rey jumped in her seat, hitting her head on the low roof of the cockpit and wincing at the impact. She must have fallen asleep at some point, and if the crick in her neck was any indication, she was going to be very stiff when she finally unfolded herself from the X-Wing. 

Rubbing her eyes and gently prying her numb legs from their cramped position to rest back on the floor, she peered blearily out the window and tried to focus on the rich green of Takodana before her. The ship had jumped out of hyperspace on the far side of the planet, and it would take some time to navigate to Maz’s castle, or at least the place where Maz’s castle had been two years ago. She hadn’t been back since. 

It occurred to her that she hadn’t actually made a plan before blindly running off solely on the word of some long-forgotten Jedi. She wasn’t even sure where Maz was, only that she was on the planet and rebuilding – somewhere.

“Kriff, Rey,” she muttered while hastily typing out a note to Maz, “pull yourself together.”

Ignoring the insistent blinking of several unread messages on her comm (she wasn’t even sure how she’d explain this to Finn and Poe, much less Chewbacca), she pointed the ship toward the planet. A minute or so later she received a set of coordinates, and plugged them into the navigational computer, setting off to find Maz. 

It didn’t take long to reach the coordinates. The clearing stood out starkly amid the dense foliage that surrounded it, small houses and a half-finished central building interrupting the otherwise unbroken green. There was a flurry of activity on the ground as she made her approach, a few men signaling her toward a section of flat land behind a row of huts. 

She worked through the landing procedures slowly, methodically, suddenly unsure about her decision to come here. Her tasks were completed far too quickly, and she sighed. There was nothing left to stall on. 

Before exiting the safety of the small spacecraft, she removed Ben’s shirt and folded it, tucking it neatly back into her satchel. 

The X-Wing’s top had barely begun to open when a familiar voice called out to her. “Rey!” Maz stood a short distance away, arms crossed over her chest, a small smile on her face. Rey pulled herself over the side and slid to the soft ground below, several joints popping in protest as she tried to shake out the pins and needles in her legs.

The tiny woman was already approaching her. “I was wondering when you’d drop by, kiddo.” Rey opened her mouth and closed it again, unsure of how to respond. She was spared having to answer, though, her host already waving her toward one of the houses near the boundaries of the forest.

“We’ve got this one ready for visitors. You can drop your satchel there, and then come meet me out by the main building. We have plenty of work to keep you busy while you’re here.”

Rey trotted after her (how did she move so quickly on such short legs?), trying to figure out how to explain why, exactly, she was on Takodana.  
  
“I’m not exactly here to help rebuild…”

Maz cut her off. “I know why you’re here, kiddo.” She stopped in front of a small house and stared up appraisingly at Rey. “We’ll talk this evening after dinner. The light is too good today to waste it talking, especially when so much needs rebuilt.”

Sighing, Rey could only follow her into the dark little house.

“Be patient, Rey.”

She bristled. “I don’t even really know why I’m here! How can I be patient?” Maz gazed at her through the gloom but said nothing, allowing her to continue. “I’ve been sent on some quest by a Jedi I’ve never heard of to do something which I think is probably impossible and I’m here now and I don’t know _why_ she sent me to you.” She threw her satchel on the bed and sat down heavily. “I’ve been patient for my entire life, and I am _sick_ of it.”

The old woman remained in her position by the door, appraising her. When she spoke again, her voice was gentle but firm. “We will talk tonight. There is work to be done now.”

Rey bit back a frustrated retort and followed her into the sunshine.

Already activity in the clearing was resuming a more normal pace, Rey’s sudden appearance in a Resistance X-Wing clearly not a cause for great excitement. As she trailed Maz, weaving past half-finished homes and small gardens, she automatically reached out for any anger or aggression aimed at her, but sensed only vague curiosity at her appearance from the people milling around the area. 

It occurred to her that maybe this was peace. It was a strange feeling.

They quickly reached the center of the clearing, the partially built stone castle directly in front of them. Maz stopped abruptly and waved a man over to them.

“Piq, this is Rey. She’s here for a few days and wants to help. I thought she could work with your team.”

Rey looked at him, trying to gauge his threat level. He wasn’t tall but was solidly built in a way that reminded her of Finn. His gray hair curled over his forehead, and crinkles at the creases of his eyes suggested that he frequently wore the easy smile that currently graced his face.

“Nice to meet you, Rey. I’ve heard a lot about you.”

She glanced at his hand stretched to her and swallowed, forcing herself to grab it firmly in her own before she could talk herself out of this entire business and go back to Kashyyyk. “Nice to meet you too.”

He appeared not to notice her hesitation and led her around the building toward a pile of stones and a line of workers passing them up to a few masons perched precariously at the top of a ladder. “You look decently strong,” he began, “think you can take on the afternoon shift? Some of these folks have been working since dawn.”

She nodded, opened her mouth to affirm that she could help, but he rushed on. “Unless, of course, there may be… another way you prefer to lift them? If you’d rather?”

Rey glanced down at her feet, away from his hopeful eyes. Words like _Jedi_ and _Force_ floated through his unguarded mind, his curiosity overwhelming her senses. She forced a smile onto her face.

“I’ll take the afternoon shift, it’s no problem.” She walked toward the pile and grabbed one of the stones, ignoring the disappointment that radiated from him.

It was almost meditative to throw herself into the simplicity of hard work. Under the hot Takodana sun, with sweat in her eyes and dirt on her hands, Rey felt like she had a purpose again, like she was actually doing something that mattered.

It seemed like only minutes had passed when Piq called “End of day!” down the ladder. Rey glanced toward the sun, then realized that it must have set behind the trees nearly a quarter hour earlier. She accepted a sip of water from a neighbor with a smile and stretched, her body comfortably sore.

Unsure of how to proceed and not spotting Maz anywhere nearby, she waited near the base of the ladder for Piq, reaching up to grab some of the tools he passed down.

“You did a good job today, Rey,” he said, clapping her on the shoulder with the easy familiarity of a father. “Sticking around for a bit, I hope?”

She shrugged. “I’m not exactly sure. I need to talk to Maz before I can leave.”

He nodded, heaving his bag onto his back. “If you’re still here tomorrow, we could use the help.” He started off in the direction of one of the larger houses, calling over his shoulder to her, “Dinner’s this way. Don’t even think about trying to leave without eating something.”

She grinned at his retreating figure and jogged to catch up with him.

Dinner was a lively affair at the camp and the food was warm and hearty, but somewhere between her second and third bowl of stew she must have started to drift off, the long sleepless nights and hard work finally catching up to her. She woke up long enough to make it back to her bunk and passed quickly into a dreamless sleep.

***

In spite of her vow to talk to Maz early the next morning, the following day passed in much the same way as the previous afternoon. Rey returned to Piq’s team and found herself relaxing slightly, surrounded by friendly faces and bolstered with hard work.

Having slept soundly the night before, she managed to stay awake after dinner, and was rewarded with a lively evening of dancing and storytelling by the fire. Two of Piq’s daughters even managed to pull her into the circle of firelight to share a few dances, and by the time the firelight waned her cheeks ached from laughter.

She promised herself that she would talk with Maz the next day.

That next afternoon was interrupted by a group of men just coming back from a hunting trip, bringing with them some enormous type of wild game. They spent the rest of the day digging a roasting pit for the beast and preparing both it and fifty other dishes from everyone’s homeworlds to share.

As they shucked bright purple beans on the steps of one of the houses, Rey asked what they were celebrating.

Arei, Piq’s oldest daughter (with whom she was becoming fast friends), shrugged at the question. “Why does there need to be a reason?”

Rey didn’t know how to argue with that.

She tasted everything that evening, and came back for seconds on all of it. She ignored the ache behind her ribcage as she watched Arei and her husband laughing in the moonlight, and after a few cups of Takodanan honey ale forgot why she was hurting.

And so, in the laughter of quickly forming friendships and the flickering light of the fire, the third day became the fourth.

Rey woke before dawn the next morning with a headache and a stale taste in her mouth. Actually, it tasted more like something had crawled into her mouth during the night and died there. She dressed quickly, picking her way across the silent lawn through the ruins of the party in search of some water to rinse out the sour taste.

The kitchen was as empty as the rest of camp, and she took her time at the well, sipping the cool water slowly until the throbbing in her head stopped. Like the lawn outside, the kitchen was a disaster, and she rolled up her sleeves and began gathering dishes into a pile, intent on beginning to clean up. The water heated quickly above the low fire she built, and she hummed softly to herself while scrubbing the pots and pans.

A noise from the doorway startled her. Whipping her head around, she saw Maz standing, smiling gently at her.

“I didn’t hear you come in.”

Maz sat down at one of the low benches and gestured for her to sit across the table. “I didn’t know you knew any Alderaanian lullabies.”  
  
Rey finished drying her hands and sat, frowning. “I don’t.”

“You were humming one. A favorite of Leia’s, if I remember correctly.”

“I don’t understand…” Rey closed her eyes and reached for the memory of the song. _Leia, younger, rocking a raven-haired child to sleep on the balcony of a strange green planet._ She looked at Maz again. “Um. It’s not exactly my memory.”

Maz nodded and folded her small hands in front of her. “And this is what you wanted to talk about.”

“Not exactly. I don’t know how to explain it without sounding insane.”

The older woman removed her spectacles, her warm eyes finding and holding Rey’s own. “I’ve lived for a long time, kiddo. You would be surprised at the stories I could tell you.”

Rey stood up, grabbing two clean cups from the shelf and filling them with water, passing one to Maz. The earthenware felt cool beneath her fingers. “It’s a long story.”

“We’ve got plenty of time.”

“Do you remember last time I was on Takodana?” Maz nodded, and Rey continued, encouraged. “I first met Kylo Ren here, right before your castle was destroyed…”

Her story took the better part of the morning, particularly as people began to trickle into the kitchens in search of something to eat. After the fourth or fifth interruption they had relocated to Rey’s small house at the corner of the village, where they could talk freely without other ears listening in.

In the middle of describing the final battle on Exegol, Rey realized that she had never told anyone the full story of hers and Ben’s relationship. Not even Rose knew the depth of their bond. She blinked away a few tears and tried to finish the story without breaking down again. Nevertheless, as she told Maz about Ben’s sacrifice and death, she realized that her cheeks were wet with tears.

“That’s the end. I never saw him again.” She sniffled and wiped her nose along her arm band. Maz sat back, contemplating her. “I’d almost given up hope when I spoke to someone named Ahsoka a few days ago.”  
  
Maz narrowed her eyes. “Ahsoka spoke to you?”

“She told me to find you. She said you could help me.”

Leaning back in the small chair, Maz glanced out the window, lost in thought. “If Ahsoka spoke to you – if she thinks there’s a way…” She turned sharply to Rey. “Was she a Force ghost?”

Rey shook her head. “I couldn’t see her. She said she wasn’t dead, and that we were someplace…in between. But I didn’t know what she meant and there wasn’t time to explain.”

Maz let out a long breath and walked to the window, mumbling low enough that Rey had to strain to hear her. “Could she be…I wasn’t sure it existed…between life and death…if she lived, he could still be there too…”

“Maz? What does this mean?”

She returned to Rey, still sitting on her bunk, and took her hands gently. “Child, if Ahsoka lives in the world between, you may yet be able to find Ben.”  
  
It felt like being struck by lightning. Rey didn’t know what the world between was, or why Ahsoka was so important, but none of that really mattered once she’d heard the end of the sentence. “You’re sure?”  
  
“No. But a dyad is rare, and powerful. You and Ben Solo are not so easily separated, even by death.” She paused, seeming to contemplate her next words before speaking again. “By putting so much of his own life energy back into you it’s possible that there’s a piece of his soul inside you now. And if part of him is in you…”

“No.” It was too much. Rey shook her head. “That’s not possible. I would have known. I would have _felt_ it.” It was dangerous to hope for this. Too many things could go wrong, there were too many ways this could end in just another heartbreak. She blinked back tears that threatened to spill over her cheeks.

“Dear child,” Maz said, gently taking Rey’s hands in her own. “Ahsoka would not have come to you if there was no hope. Trust her, and trust in the Force.”  
  
“It’s the Force that took him from me.”  
  
“And it’s through the Force that you’ll save him.” She smiled. “I told you once that the belonging you seek is ahead of you. It still can be.”

Rey let go of Maz’s hands and stood slowly, wiping her eyes on the hem of her tunic and walking to the window. In the green midday light, the simple stone houses seemed to glow. Children wove between them, dirty and well-fed and happy, watched carefully by their parents. The future was blindingly bright here, in this place of peace and growth.

This is what she’d seen, holding hands with Ben in the small hut on Ahch-To. A small family, somewhere green, with hope and endless possibilities stretching out before them. Belonging.

Without turning from the scene in front of her she spoke, resigned. “I don’t know how to begin.”

She felt Maz’s smile on her back before she even turned around, warm in spite of the reluctance of her acceptance.

 _She knew_ , Rey thought, _that I would choose this. She knew from the moment I came here that I would choose this. Him._

A scraping noise behind her made her flinch, and she turned in time to see Maz unlocking a large trunk that had previously been sitting in a dusty corner. The intricately carved top betrayed its worth, although judging by the rust on the lock and the trail of dust it had left when she’d pulled it to the center of the room, it hadn’t been touched in a long time. Maz beckoned, drawing her in closely.

“I’ve been hanging onto this for you,” she said, holding out a familiar black handle. Rey stared at it, then at Maz, and finally reached for it gingerly. She cradled it between her palms as if it was a sand snake, poised to strike.

“Do I even want to know how you ended up with _another_ Skywalker lightsaber?”

Maz had the audacity to wink at her, patting her shoulder gently. “It’s a long story, kiddo.” She closed and locked the trunk, walked toward the door, and paused, considering the girl still kneeling on the ground.

Rey tore her gaze from the saber in her hands and looked back up at Maz, a million questions running through her mind. Finally, she blurted out, “Do I need to leave now?”

“Stay as long as you need to, Rey.” Maz’s smile warmed her from the inside out. “There is a long and difficult path ahead of you. Rest. Heal. He will be waiting for you when you’re ready.” With that she stepped into the sunshine and left Rey staring back at her, clutching Ben’s lightsaber.

***

Rey stayed on Takodana for three more days. In the mornings she ate with Arei and her family, chatting about inconsequential things and laughing at her small children. She worked with Piq’s crew during the day, slowly continuing to rebuild the castle. It was hard work, and she ate well and slept deeply. She did not remember her dreams. 

She tried not to think about the lightsaber wrapped in the soft black sweater at the bottom of her bag.

On the evening of the seventh day, she sat with Maz again, and in the light of the fire and the soft hum of conversation they talked.

They spoke of rebuilding and growth, of children and parents and families. Maz told her about the grand adventures she’d had in her youth, about the hundreds of worlds she’d seen. Rey asked about plans for the future and the settlement, whether they would expand someday. They talked about love, and loss, and the nature of the Force. Finally, as the last embers extinguished into the night air, Rey brought up the question which had been burning inside of her for the last week.

“Where is the World Between Worlds?”

Maz smiled over her mug, sipping thoughtfully. “I don’t know.”

“Then how-“

Maz held up a hand to stop her protests. “It is not a destination. There are no coordinates.” She eyed her. “But you knew that.”

Rey tilted her head back, the stars bright above her. “It’s the mirror, isn’t it? On Ahch-To?”

Maz only smiled.

It was enough.

***

She left that morning at dawn.

Goodbyes were tearful, the people she’d known for only a week having become like another family to her. Rations and extra blankets were loaded into her ship, and Rey felt her heart swell at their generosity and kindness.

Before she could climb up into the ship Piq crushed her in his strong arms, and then pulled away, slapping her on the shoulder and letting her know that there’d be work for her when she got back. They both pretended not to see the wetness in his eyes. She promised she’d return and hoped, desperately, that she’d be able to keep it.

The X-Wing was fueled and ready for the journey, the coordinates in place, and Rey knew she couldn’t stall much longer. There was still no sight of Maz. Sighing, she reached up to close the hatch, when a loud voice called out to her.

“You’re leaving without saying goodbye?”  
  
“Maz!” Rey pulled her helmet off and jumped out of the seat, rushing forward to catch the old woman in a hug. “Thank you,” she whispered against her ear “for everything”.

“Don’t mention it, kiddo.” Maz pulled away and eyed her. “You have everything?”

Rey reached inside her bag, feeling her way to the bottom where she’d stashed the lightsaber. She nodded. “I have everything I need.”

With one last look at the clearing that had almost become home, she heaved herself back into the cockpit of the X-Wing.

“Rey!” Maz stood to one side, looking up at her. “May the Force be with you.”

Rey nodded and reached up to close the hatch. Her hands, sure on the controls, easily brought the craft into the air and back to the emptiness of space, leaving the clearing and its occupants behind.

***

That night, nursing a strong cup of tea in her room, Maz suddenly felt a presence next to her. She looked up from her holopad and smiled.

“My dear friend.”

Leia smiled back, luminous in the dark hut. She took a seat in the chair across from Maz’s bunk.

Maz sighed and put her tea and pad down on a small table. “You’re here about Rey.” She watched Leia’s smile fade into a slight frown.

“It’s too dangerous, Maz.”

“As if I could stop her.”

“You could have tried harder,” she mumbled, standing up to pace the room. “She’s going to get herself killed.”

“Nothing would have come between you and rescuing Han from Jabba the Hutt.” Maz said dryly.

Leia scowled at her. “That was different.”

“Not so different.” She paused. “She loves him, Leia.” The words stopped the ghost in her tracks.

“I know.”

Maz picked up her tea again, sipping slowly. “Then you know why she has to try. Besides, if anyone can find him, it’s Rey. She’s stubborn enough to milk a rancor.”

Leia sat down again, sadness etched on her features, and Maz wished that she could put her arms around her old friend. “Have you felt him?” she asked quietly, and Leia’s face crumpled.

“Not since he disappeared. I’m afraid that you’re right. I’m afraid that he’s stuck somewhere in between because of their connection.”

They sat side by side for a moment, each lost in thought. Maz finally broke the silence.

“Then she is his only hope.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know, I promised you a Reylo fic and Ben is still absent. I promise I'll explain it better in the next chapters, and he may even show up, who knows? In the meantime, I hope you enjoyed this chapter!


	3. I Carry Your Heart (I Carry It In My Heart)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey has some long-awaited conversations, and makes an important discovery.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, and I'm sorry for the delay! This chapter ended up much longer than I originally intended it, and since I agonize over most of my creative decisions it's taken a while to finish. I hope you enjoy!

“Absolutely not.”

Rey clenched her jaw. “You didn’t even listen to what I said.”

“I don’t need to listen to know that you’re planning on doing something stupid. I can _feel_ it, Rey.” Over the comm, Finn’s voice echoed her own frustration. “And I’m telling you to turn your ship around and come back to the base.” 

“Luckily I don’t need your permission.”

“No, actually, you do need my permission. I’m a general, remember? And you’re – “ He broke off.

She narrowed her eyes at the screen. “I’m what?”

“Kriff, Rey, you’re – you’re the last Jedi. You’re the light of the Resistance, Luke Skywalker’s last student. You killed Kylo Ren on Kef Bir – “

“I didn’t,” she whispered, but Finn continued to talk, oblivious to her interruption.

“ – and you took down Palpatine _alone_ and saved the galaxy! We need you here, Rey. People need to know that you’re on our side and that you’re still fighting for us,” he finished, the conviction in his voice a stark contrast to the anger coiling in her stomach.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down before replying. When she spoke again, she was surprised by the steadiness of her voice.

“Finn, I didn’t do it alone.” She felt his confusion from lightyears away but pushed ahead before he could interrupt. “Somebody came back for me.”

“No, there wasn’t anybody else who could have helped you. We were all in the air.”

Rey tried to swallow down the lump in her throat. “It was Ben,” she blurted out.

“Ben?”

“Ben Solo,” she whispered back.

The weight of her confession hung heavy in the air. Finn’s end of the comm stayed silent as she waited, increasingly nervously, for his response. It wasn’t as if she hadn’t wanted to tell Finn the truth of what had happened on Exegol, there just hadn’t ever been a good time. She’d slept for about two days after getting back, and then there was rebuilding and rescuing survivors and rooting out pockets of First Order sympathizers. There just wasn’t time.

 _Either that or you were avoiding the conversation. You told Rose,_ she thought _._ _He’s probably taking it badly and you knew he would, so you never told him the truth. Although,_ she reasoned, as she continued to wait for a response, _he never asked._

The red light of the comm continued to blink at her. Finn hadn’t terminated the connection, but he still wasn’t speaking, either. Tentatively, she began to explain. “You were right about Kef Bir, in a way,” she began. “I did… stab Kylo Ren. I didn’t mean to, it just happened so quickly. I wanted to hurt him. Force, Finn, I was so _angry_ with him.”  
  
There was no response. The light blinked insistently, and she decided to just get the rest of the story over with, whether he was listening or not. “But then I felt Leia die, and I looked down and I’d stabbed him with his own saber, and he was just staring at me like – like I’d betrayed him. And I realized I couldn’t let him die.” She took a deep breath in, bracing herself for the next part. “I healed him, Finn. And then I took his ship and left. The next time I saw him was on Exegol.”

Finally, the other end of the comm crackled to life. “So you killed him on Exegol?” His voice was quiet, a forced calm. She grimaced at his question, knowing he wouldn’t understand or like the next part.

“No.”

“So Kylo Ren is still out there, Rey? What, you felt bad for him, so you let him live? He’s a danger to all of us, you know that.” Although he’d started at a normal volume, his voice was getting louder as her words sunk in. “He killed his father. You _saw_ him.”

“You don’t understand – “

“Like hell I don’t, Rey!” He was shouting at her now, his voice echoing in the small cockpit. “He tortured Poe, he almost killed me, he abandoned his mother, and he tried to kill you a dozen times!”

“That was Kylo Ren, Finn!” She desperately tried to make him understand. “Ben Solo was the man who came back for me.”

“They’re the same person.”

“They’re not.” He had to understand. “Palpatine was in his head since before he was born, manipulating him. He never had a choice.”

“I don’t care.” Her heart broke at his words. “He murdered his own father. The bastard should be dead for what he’s done.”

Rey finally lost her last bit of control. “He _is_ dead,” she hissed at him. “He died saving me. He dragged himself back to the light for me, and in the end he brought me back to life.”

“I know you –“

“You don’t know anything!” she shouted at him. “You said it yourself, all I am to you is the last Jedi, a symbol to show off to the galaxy. I don’t know the last time you talked to me like I am a friend rather than an asset. The only person who has ever bothered to actually know me was Ben Solo, and he is _dead_.” She was shaking, her knuckles white against the controls. “He was the other half of my soul and losing him _tore me apart_.”

Finn’s voice was cold when he responded. “You’re to come back to the Resistance base. That’s an order.”

 _This is what it’s come to._ She stared at the comm. “The Resistance is done, Finn. There’s nothing left to resist. We won. You don’t need me anymore.” The blinking continued, and she closed her eyes against the red light.

When he didn’t respond, she continued, barely speaking above a whisper. “I can’t go on like this. I can’t keep living half a life, Finn. I hoped you would understand, and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before.” A tear leaked out between her closed eyelids and she blinked it away, looking back down at the comm.

The light was off. He had hung up on her.

Rey drew her knees up to her chest and sobbed.

***

_Rey?_

She jolted in her seat, looking around frantically for the owner of the voice. The interior of the X-Wing was lit only by the rush of hyperspace and the glow of buttons, and perhaps it was just the low light, but for a second, she thought she had seen a familiar set of shoulders in the gloom – 

No. It was a trick of the light and nothing more.

As for the voice, well, it wouldn’t be the first time she had dreamed of him calling her name. That’s all this was. Another dream.

Still, there was something itching at her senses. The Force curled around her, gentler than it had been in the months since Ben’s…disappearance. It almost reminded her of those last moments on Exegol, when the bond had sung between them, warm and golden and liquid with hope.

“It’s just a dream,” she murmured, hesitant to immerse herself and yet craving more of the feeling. Her eyes fluttered shut. “A dream.”

The feeling swept through her, engulfing her senses. In the back of her mind she knew she was still breathing, still sitting in the old leather pilot’s chair, but she saw only the swirling energy binding the universe together. The light and the darkness, the warm and the cold, the love and the hate.

Life.

Death.

There was no Rey.

There was only the Force.

It was too much. She blindly tried to break out of the Force’s hold, but it was stronger than she was. Too strong, too much, and now it was burning her –

Desperately she stretched for the only lifeline she’d ever known, pulled on the bond with everything left in her, forgetting that it no longer led anywhere.

It went taut.

She grasped it like a drowning woman and held on, letting it (him?) pull her back to her senses. With a gasp, she fell forward onto the control panel, knocking her head against the blunt edge.

“Ow!” Rey brought her hand to her forehead. For a moment she panicked as it came away wet, breathing a sigh of relief when she realized it was sweat, not blood, coating her hand. She took a shaky breath in, trying to reorient herself, running through a mental checklist to calm herself down.

 _Breath in, breath out. Good. Two feet firmly on the floor. Good_. She blinked a few times and rolled her neck. _Breath in, breath out. One hand on the control panel, one hand holding the lightsaber –_

The lightsaber?

She ran a finger over it, the cross guards jagged against her skin and the weight of the blade’s sins heavy on her heart. Rey frowned at it in her hand, trying to put the pieces together. Why had the Force pulled her into the vision? What did the lightsaber have to do with anything? For that matter, why did Maz even have the saber?

Turning it over, she inspected it closely. This was not the first time she’d held it, having even wielded it in battle a few times, but she’d never had the time to really look at it before. It was heavier than she remembered, with red wires running along the side of it and rough welds where it had been reshaped.

It felt…volatile, like it might explode at any moment. It felt like Kylo Ren.

She closed her eyes and concentrated on the crystal inside. It was cracked, nearly broken in half and bleeding red, and yet she could swear she felt it calling to her. It felt like Kylo, but underneath that it was still Ben’s crystal. 

Her mind drifted back to her trance moments before, remembering the flavor of panic in her mouth. How had she come out of it?

It struck her like lightning. _The bond._

If the bond was still active, if she had felt a tug on the other end (and she _knew,_ somehow, that she hadn’t imagined it), that meant –

Ben was alive.

Rey opened her eyes and stared out at the silvery stars flying past. Suddenly the cockpit felt too small, too tight. She took a deep breath in through her nose and willed her racing heart to calm down. Every heartbeat repeated the words: _He’s alive, Ben’s alive, he’s alive…_

And, somehow, the lightsaber was connected. What had Maz said? Something about his soul, splintering at the moment of his – she floundered for a moment before settling on disappearance. According to Maz, there was a piece of him within her.

 _It only makes sense,_ she thought, trying not to blush at the implication. _The connection, the dyad – who else’s soul could have accepted part of his?_ Her eyes widened and she turned back to the lightsaber still clutched in her hand.

_The kyber crystal is as much a part of him as I am._

Rey didn’t know how many shards there were, or where they had scattered, but maybe, _maybe_ , this was a starting place. Reaching beneath her seat she pulled out a canvas-wrapped set of tools and unrolled it, selecting the smallest pliers and a set of wire cutters. In the absence of a table she laid an old rag over her lap and set the saber on top of it, wishing she’d had the foresight to commandeer a larger ship.

“It’s just a lightsaber, how hard can it be?” she muttered, trying her hardest not to think of this particular lightsaber’s volatile nature. Cutting the wrong wire _probably_ wouldn’t make it explode.

She stared at it for a moment longer, silently willing it to break into pieces. It didn’t move, and she let out a small huff. They’d do this the hard way, then. The crystal hummed in its metal shell, and, taking a deep breath, Rey raised her wire cutters to the handle.

***

_Rey slowly opens her eyes, stretching out her senses into the softly shifting gray room around her. She feels content here, cocooned in layers of the Force like a child swaddled in soft blankets. It dawns on her that this is the first time in a year that she hasn’t felt the ache of the severed bond, just as she becomes aware of a warm, solid mass at her back and gentle fingers twisting in her hair._

_Her breath catches. Hope blooms dangerously in her chest. “Hello?” She closes her eyes in anticipation of the answer, heart beating faster as she waits._

_The fingers still in her hair. “Hi,” he breathes back, low and soft and impossibly real._

_“Ben!”_

_Rey twists from her position and launches herself at him, desperate to close any distance between them. She knows, deep down, that this is only temporary, a gift from the Force itself, but right now he’s here and his arms are around her and she finally remembers what it feels like to be complete._

_Her body fits against his like they were created for one another (perhaps they were, she thinks), her hands skimming the soft fabric of his dark shirt and the back of his neck, combing through his hair and cupping his cheeks. Ben responds enthusiastically, pulling her fully into his lap and holding her tightly to him like she is something precious._

_“I thought I’d lost you,” she mumbles into his chest, and he strokes her back with one hand, gently turning her to face him with his other broad palm._

_“I’m sorry.” He chews on his lip, his brows knit. “I never wanted… I’m here now.” His gaze flickers between her eyes and her mouth and she makes the decision for both of them. She’s waited long enough. Rey leans into him, pressing her mouth to his almost frantically, unwilling to lose him again without at least one more kiss. She senses that he’s feeling much the same way, the memory of their last moment together still fresh in their minds. Rey cups his face and kisses him like she is dying of thirst and he is a fountain, and he holds her to him, beaming, and kisses her back._

_She isn’t sure how much time has passed when they finally pull back to look at one another, breathing heavily. Ben’s eyes focus on hers as he blinks away tears, and in the back of her mind she is aware of wetness on her own cheeks. His hands come up to cradle her face, the rough pads of his thumbs wiping away her tears._

_Rey stares back at him, leaning slightly into his touch, wishing that she could wake up to those beautiful eyes and knowing that her body is alone in empty space. “You left me,” she whispers, hating how childish she sounds. “You promised I wouldn’t be alone and then you left me.”_

_He hangs his head, his dark curtain of hair falling over his face. When he looks back at her his eyes are red, his lips trembling. “I’m sorry, Rey. For everything. I’m so sorry.” She pulls him back to her and clings to him, her fingers in his hair, and feels his arms tremble as they wrap around her waist._

_“Forgive me, Rey. Please forgive me.” Ben’s voice is muffled against her shoulder, but she feels it in her bones, and then they’re both crying._

_Rey hadn’t cried since she’d woken up after Exegol and realized that half of her soul had died with him. She had mourned for him then but forced herself to move on when weeks passed without a sign from him. It was survival to shove their bond away and pretend it didn’t hurt anymore._

_Now, though, with Ben wrapped around her, she mourns for the life they could have made together, the man he could have been if he’d been allowed a second chance. She resolves at that moment to bring him back no matter the cost. He deserves to have someone fight for him._

_Beneath her, Ben stiffens, and she knows he’s heard her thoughts. He pulls away to look at her, his brow furrowed. “You can’t bring me back, Rey.” He smooths a hand across her cheeks, over her hair, rough callouses catching and pulling out strands from her half-finished braids. “Even you can’t bring back the dead.”_

_“That’s the thing, Ben,” and he starts, still unused to hearing his given name, “I don’t think you’re dead.”_

_She can feel his skepticism across their bond, and she rushes ahead before he can give voice to the same doubts that she’s been plagued with since Maz first introduced the possibility. “Can I ask you a question?”_

_“Technically that was a question.”_

_Rey gapes at him. “Did you just make a joke?”_

_His mouth twists into a smirk that would have made his father proud, but his face falls just as quickly. “Yes, you can ask a question.”_

_She takes his hands in hers. “Where are you?”_

_Ben bites his lower lip, his gaze firmly focused on their entwined fingers. “I…don’t really know,” he responds quietly. “The last thing I can remember is holding you on Exegol, and then there was a feeling of sort of… being ripped apart. Out of my body, away from you. And then nothing until now.”_

_“Did it hurt?” she whispers, and he nods._

_“I didn’t know what else to do, though. Without you…” he swallows, trailing off, but she understands all the same._

_“There’s something missing,” she finishes. “I know.” Tears threaten to spill again, and she pulls her hands away to wipe at her eyes. “I can’t bear it anymore.”_

_His eyes snap up to hers, searching her face. “Rey,” he begins softly, and her heart breaks again for everything they’ve lost. “How long have I been gone?”_

_She sniffles and looks away. He tries again, more firmly. “Rey, please, I need to know.”_

_“Nearly a year.”_

_He draws in a sharp breath, letting her words sink in. Tentatively she looks back at him, her eyes wet with tears, and is surprised when he pulls her tightly to his chest. “I’m sorry, Rey, I’m so sorry. Please don’t cry, I’m here, I’m here now,” he murmurs into her hair._

_Rey relaxes into him, knowing he needs the comfort as much as she does. Still, she knows that their time in this in-between place is limited, and there is so much she needs to tell him before he disappears again._

_“Ben, we need to talk.”_

_He sighs and shifts her slightly on his lap, resting his chin on the top of her head. “I don’t know where to start,” he murmurs, and she shivers at the vibrations from his voice._

_“Can you tell me what you know about the dyad?” He’s silent for a few heartbeats. “Ben?”_

_“I don’t know much beyond what I already told you.”_

_She senses that he’d rather avoid where this conversation is going, and although Rey isn’t particularly eager to think about the last time they spoke about the dyad, she’s determined to pry some sort of information out of him. She hasn’t come this far by avoiding uncomfortable conversations, and she knows he isn’t telling her everything._

_“Then tell me again.”_

_“Godsdammit, Rey, why? I’m dead – just let me stay dead. Live your life, and maybe, Force willing, I’ll see you again someday. I’ve made my peace with it. You should too.”_

_“You are a nerfherder, Ben Solo!” She punches him in the arm, hard enough so that he glares down at her, confusion twisting his brow. “You kriffing idiot, that’s what I’ve been trying to tell you – you’re not dead.”_

_He huffs at that. “Well then I should be.”_

_He flinches at the devastation that flashes across her face. She sags against him. “Please don’t say that,” Rey says softly, the fire in her eyes from moments before extinguished._

_Sighing, he shifts her in his lap, burying his long nose in her hair. “I’m sorry,” he murmurs. “I don’t - ” He breaks off, and she can feel his jaw clenching as he struggles for the right words. “I spent my whole life shutting people out,” he whispers, “and I don’t know- I don’t know how to accept this. That you’re still here, that you’re willing to keep fighting for me.” Rey tightens her arms around him but says nothing, waiting for him to go on. “I don’t want you to get hurt chasing after me.”_

_“I think we passed that point a long time ago,” she responds gently, muffled against his chest. He sighs again._

_“Rey, I don’t deserve this.”_

_She chooses to ignore that statement. “But what do you want?” Rey reaches up and lightly tugs his jaw, pulling him down to face her again. “Ben, I will come for you. You know I will. But I need to know that you want this too.”_

_Almost imperceptibly he nods at her, dark eyes serious as they look into her own. “I hate that I’m stuck here. I’m terrified you’re going to get hurt, and still don’t trust that this is going to work.” He worries his lower lip between his teeth, his brow furrowed in a silent argument with himself. Rey waits, heart pounding against her chest until she senses reluctant resolve brushing against her mind._

_“Ben?”_

_“I hate this,” he bursts out. “You know I would come back if I could just figure out how.” His hands are twisting in her hair again. “I can feel you hurting, Rey, and I know it’s my fault. You shouldn’t have to keep picking up broken pieces. But another part of me…” He breaks off again and shuts his eyes. “Do you think there’s a chance?”_

_Never in the time she had known him had Ben sounded as small as he did in this moment. Rey reaches out to cup his cheeks in her hands, tracing the unbroken skin where she’d once marked him. “I do,” she says with as much confidence as she can muster._

_Ben leans into her touch and heaves out a great sigh. “If there’s a chance… I think I’d like to get to know Ben Solo.”_

_Feeling a grin split her face, she strokes his hair, relishing in its softness. “Ok. That’s – ok. Good. Good.” To be honest, she’d expected him to fight her more on this, and isn’t sure where to go from here. Tentatively, she returns to their earlier conversation. “Can you go back to the dyad thing?” He opens one eye and squints at her, his lips pursed. She rolls her eyes at him. “I’m not asking to be annoying, Ben. You just threw that piece of information at me in the middle of an argument and it’s not like I could sit down and get a satisfying explanation out of you.”_

_Sighing again, he opens both eyes and considers her for a moment. “If you’d asked, I’d have sat down and explained it to you. We had plenty of time after you stabbed me.”_

_Aghast, she can only stare at him. “Was that another joke?”_

_He smirks at her, looking for a moment just like his father. “I’m out of practice.” He breaks into a full smile as she swats at his arm._

_“Explain the kriffing dyad, you oaf!”_

_The smile on his face fades, but the one in his eyes continues to crinkle at the corners. “Alright, sweetheart, no need to get violent.” He adjusts her so that her back is against his chest and returns his fingers to her hair. “I told you that the dyad is two that are one. Which is true, from a certain point of view.”_

_“Are you braiding my hair?”_  
  
_The fingers still. “Do you mind? Braiding Leia – my mother’s – hair always used to help me puzzle through things, when I was younger.”_

_“I don’t mind. No one’s ever braided my hair for me.” His compassion for her is nearly tangible for a moment, and she marvels again at how different this gentle man is from the angry boy in the woods on Starkiller._

_Her thoughts are interrupted as Ben begins to speak again. “Ok, so a dyad is basically two people who are connected somehow through the Force.”_

_“Like our Force bond?”_

_“Are you ever going to let me explain this?” She laughs at the indignation in his voice. “Like I said before I was so rudely interrupted” -he pokes her in the ribs and she laughs again- “a dyad is two people who are connected through the Force, but in a way stronger than just a Force bond. I read about old training bond between masters and padawans during the Republic and there was nothing about connecting across the galaxy like we’ve done. Seeing one another, touching one another… I knew it was something more powerful. Do you have a hair tie?”_

_She hands one to him silently._

_“Thanks. Anyway, I found some old Jedi texts and something about a dyad came up, but I couldn’t find much information on it beyond a mention here and there. There’s only been one other in the last few millennia, and it wasn’t well documented. The only thing I’m sure of is that is that the connection transcends space and time, which is why we could see one another and pass objects between us.”_

_He stays silent for a few moments, finishing her braid, and she waits for as long as she can with the question burning in her throat. Finally, it becomes too much, and she asks, “But you still haven’t explained the two in one part.”_

_“It’s the hardest part to explain.” She twists to look at him and finds him staring back at her, dark eyes focused on her intently. “I’m not sure I can explain it.”_

_“Tell me.”_

_“We share a soul, Rey. One soul, in two bodies.”_

_She sucks in a breath. It makes sense now, the pain of the last year. Finn had commented that something about her Force signature seemed off, and she’d brushed it off as fatigue, or stress, or something she ate. Hadn’t she known, deep down, that the jagged tear in the back of her mind was connected to her dimmed senses, her nightmares?_

_Ben still watches her, his brow furrowed. “You don’t seem surprised.”_

_“I had suspected something like this.” She leans her head into his broad chest. “The last year there’s been something… off, in my head. Like a wound that won’t heal.” He nods against her head._

_She has to tell him the rest, before time runs out. She doesn’t know how long she’s been here, but the gray mists are slowly overtaking the room, and soon they’ll take Ben from her again. “There’s more, Ben, that you should know.”_

_“Tell me,” he echoes her words from earlier._

_“Maz thinks that your soul, or I guess your half of the soul, fractured when you brought me back. Like it couldn’t sustain your life force anymore, and so pieces went to find a - a host, of some sort.”_

_“You make me sound like a parasite.” He rests his forehead against hers and peers into her eyes. “You think part of me is within you.”_

_Rey smiles slightly. “I don’t know. I didn’t think so. I thought that you’d have come to me before this, but –“ She pulls back and smacks a hand to her face. “Of course! Why didn’t I realize it before? Kyber crystals are practically sentient, yeah?”_

_Understanding flashes across his face. “You found my lightsaber.”_

_Grinning at him, she nods. “I took it apart. There must be a splinter of your soul in the crystal, and with it exposed –“_

_“ – I could finally come to you.” An unknown expression crosses his face as he stares down at her._

_“What?”_

_“How long did it take to get the crystal out?”_

_“Oh, um,” she plays the time back in her head. “Maybe eight hours or so? Give or take an hour?” He’s still staring, and she starts to get nervous. “It would have been less time but I couldn’t figure out how you’d attached –“_

_She’s cut off by his mouth covering hers, and she melts into his kiss. “Rey,” he mumbles against her lips, “that lightsaber took me a week and a half to stabilize, and it still never really worked right.” He forgoes her mouth and kisses along her jaw line, groaning as her hands thread through his hair. When he finally pulls away to look at her, breathing hard, his eyes shine. “Eight hours - Stars, Rey, you’re brilliant.”_

_Rey tugs him back to her, greedy and lightheaded at the taste of him and desperate for more before he’s taken from her again. Their kiss is slower this time, more lingering, and she sighs against him after pulling away, wishing for the hundredth time that things had been easier between them from the start._

_Ben plants a soft kiss to her forehead. “We don’t have long now,” he says, and she hates that he’s right. The soft fogs have begun to obscure Ben’s body, his form softening around the edges almost as if he’s dissolving again in front of her eyes._

_She swallows her panic and grasps his face in her hands. “There’s so much I haven’t told you yet.”_

_“Tell me after you’ve found me.” Ben turns to press his lips to her palm, dark eyes never leaving her own. “I’ll be waiting, cyar’ika.” Gray swirls closer and his brows knit together. “Promise me you’ll be safe.”_

_Rey nods, not trusting herself to speak, and his smile, toothy and dimpled, is radiant against her palms. In that moment she knows she would cross the universe, for a chance to wake up next to this man every morning. For Ben, her dyad, her soul, she would fight the Force itself._

_“Ben, I –“ she starts, then trails off. Her hands fall to her sides, lost in a gray haze, and she stares at the space where Ben disappeared._

_I know._

_His response echoes in her head, and in spite of the uncertainty ahead of her, in spite of the pain of losing him again, she smiles._

***

The wind whistled around her as she slid from the X-Wing to the rocky ground on Ahch-to, pulling her jacket closed against the pelting sleet. She hesitated for a moment under the wing before venturing into the maelstrom, teeth chattering.

“Stupid, stupid,” she grumbled. Not for the first time Rey wondered if she should have waited out the storm in the ship. Rather optimistically she’d assumed it wouldn’t be so bad once she was moving, but only ten minutes into an hour-long hike across the island and she was already soaked through and freezing. Stupidly, she’d left most of her gear on the ship as well, opting for just a light pack slung behind her with some rations and an emergency med kit. Strapped to one hip was Han’s blaster; against the other bumped her lightsaber.

It had taken some time to decide how to keep Ben’s crystal secure. None of her pockets seemed safe enough and knowing that the softly glowing crystal held a piece of his soul made it far too precious to throw into the bottom of her satchel. Eventually she’d cut a length a leather cord from one of her spare boot laces and carefully wrapped it around the red stone, tying it tightly around her neck.

It settled against her sternum, a small piece of Ben kept as close to her heart as she could get it. Knowing she held him both inside her heart and against it made the path ahead of her feel that much more bearable.

If only the physical path was easier. Approaching the stone steps with a growing sense of apprehension, Rey paused to wipe the freezing water from her face. The stairs, not easy on a calm day, looked nearly lethal in the icy slush.

She forced herself to think of something other than the possibility of slipping and breaking her neck – if nothing else, she didn’t think she could bear the embarrassment of encountering Luke in the afterlife after dying by stairs.

Her thoughts turned to Rose, and Chewie, to Maz and Piq. Before dropping out of lightspeed at Ahch-to she’d recorded messages for each of them, explaining where she was and what she was doing. Well, sort of. She’d left out most of the details of her conversation with Ben, and she didn’t _exactly_ mention how little of a plan she really had, but she’d wanted to leave some sort of a note in case she couldn’t come back. The messages were set to send in three standard days if she hadn’t come back by then.

There had also been about a dozen recorded and deleted messages for Finn. It had been about four days since their argument and she’d heard nothing from either him or Poe. It mattered less with Poe, but from Finn… His coldness stung more than she’d care to admit. Rey ultimately had decided to let Rose fill him in, if he’d even listen.

Three quarters of the way down the steps her foot slipped on a particularly thick patch of ice. It took another hundred careful steps before her frantically pounding heart had slowed to an almost-regular tempo.

_50 meters left… 40 meters… 30 meters… 20 meters… 10 meters…_

The cavernous black mouth of the cave gaped at her, a wide mouth made somehow more sinister by the driving sleet. Rey’s heart beat faster in her chest. Before she could talk herself out of what was really a terrible idea, she gathered the Force around her like a shield, secured Ben’s crystal in one fist and her pack in the other, and jumped.

Icy water drove the air from her lungs as soon as she broke the surface of the pool below. Flailing in the dark and unable to tell up from down, the need for air clawing at her lungs, she reached desperately for the surface. Up, up, kicking as hard as she could with increasingly leaden legs, praying to the Force that she’d make it before blacking out and –

 _There._ It was so close. With a mighty push she was out of the water and gasping on frigid air. Treading water, she located the shoreline and slowly made her way toward it.

Rey coughed as she pulled herself onto the bank, letting herself lie against her arm for a moment to catch her breath. Even though she was soaking wet and freezing, the cave offered some amount of shelter from the storm above. She could still hear the gale pounding the island, and as she wrung out the sleeves of her waterlogged jacket, she made a mental note to wait somewhere dry the next time a storm blew through Ahch-to.

Her eyes adjusted slowly to the dim light, the dark water reflecting the bursts of lightning onto the high walls. It reminded her of Exegol, in a way, although the Force had felt tainted there. Here it was simply dark – the other side of the same power she’d come to know in the light.

She turned her focus to the far wall. The clouded mirror was as she’d left it two years before, although she approached it with far more caution than she had in the past.

Rey braced herself for the unending line of identical Rey’s, but the cave stayed eerily silent save for her footsteps echoing in the gloom. A few more steps, and she stood in front of the glass, hardly daring to breathe.

She bit her lip, one hand coming up to hold the crystal at her throat, the other reaching out to touch the mirror. “Tell me what to do,” she whispered. “Please.”

Her fingertips connected with the smooth plane and she waited, her breath caught in her throat, for movement on the other side. It was still for a moment, and then a shadow in the corner began to grow, moving toward her. It stopped in front of her, and she dared to hope for a moment that this could be what she’d searched for, that it could be so _simple._

The mirror cleared. Her own reflection stared back at her, shivering and disappointed. Rey’s shoulders slumped, her hand fully pressed against the glass.

No answers. Again.

_What’s the point of expecting more at this point?_

Rey let out the breath she’d been holding and shrugged off her jacket and pack. Camp would have to be made here for the night; going back out into that downpour was not an option she was willing to take.

She wished she could be angry, that she could rage against the unfairness of everything. Instead, she just felt cold. Empty.

Alone.

Rey put both hands on the mirror and shook her head. It was just a stupid trick, after all. “I need help,” she said, louder this time. Nothing stirred, and she let her gaze drop to the floor. “I don’t know where else to go.”

 **_I’ve been expecting you, Rey._ ** ****

Her head snapped up as the voice reverberated through the cavern, just in time to see two hands reach through the mirror as if it were water. They grabbed her arms and _pulled_ , and then everything went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The sad space kids finally got to talk! I'm sorry about the cliffhanger, but I do have the next chapter planned out and started, so it should hopefully be up sooner than this one was. I have a pretty good idea of where this story as a whole is going, and 30 chapters is my rough estimate, although it may longer. Let me know what you think in the comments, and thanks for reading!  
> 


	4. Through A Glass, Darkly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey reaches the World Between Worlds and learns more about the journey ahead of her. Meanwhile, outside forces scheme.

The ground was hard against her back, and the air was still. Rey’s eyes fluttered open and she squinted upwards, trying to make something out of the silver-streaked blackness above her. As her vision cleared, the streaks gave way to blurred smudges, and a moment later focused into a million pinpricks of light blinking in sharp relief against the inky sky.

 _Stars,_ she thought idly, tilting her head back against the floor to get a better look. There were millions, stretching in every direction, clearer here than in the sky of any planet she’d ever set foot on, more numerous even than she’d seen from the viewing ports of the Falcon. And this place… it seemed familiar, like a long-forgotten memory, itching at the corners of her mind. _I know this place._

Aloud, she murmured, “Where am I?” 

**You’re my guest.**

Rey leapt to her feet, heart beating wildly, swinging her yellow blade in a wide arc in the general direction the words had come from. She knew that voice, knew the man who’d said those words, could still feel the cold of the metal cuffs on the chair against her skin. Shivering at the memory, she stepped forward, holding her saber like a torch in front of her body, half-expecting a masked figure to step out of the shadows, but there was only darkness ahead.

“I can’t see you.”

Farther down the path, faintly, another voice spoke. **Your eyes can deceive you; don’t trust them.** The speaker was an old man, the accent crisp but familiar, although she did not recognize the words. At the same time a voice chimed in from behind her, and she whipped around to stare back at the way she’d come. **Your eyesight will return in time.** Her skin prickled at the rasping words. The speaker undoubtedly wore a mask, but she knew it was not Kylo Ren who spoke this time. She wasn’t sure it had even been him the first time; Rey felt no Force signatures pulsing in this strange place aside from her own, and his would certainly not be one she’d miss.

No, in spite of the nagging feeling of being watched, Rey was alone here. The voices, eerie as they were, wouldn’t harm her, of that she was sure. She relaxed her stance and extinguished her blade, holding it loosely in one hand, and looked around.

She’d been right in her earlier estimation that there were tens of thousands more stars here than she’d ever seen. What she hadn’t initially realized was that they not only stretched above her, but below as well, and every direction in between. There were no planets or ships nearby. Nothing but Rey and the sky.

 _And the voices_ , she amended silently, still unsure of their origin. If she concentrated, she could hear soft murmurs from every direction, the words too low to make out. This whole place sang with the Force – she could feel it pulsing in her bones – maybe the murmurs were just a byproduct of the energy.

She tightened her grip on her lightsaber all the same. 

Out of the corner of her eye Rey caught a dull gleam and whipped her head around. There was something else here, too. Something more tangible than voices.

She squinted at her feet. There. There was a pathway of some sort, nearly invisible in the darkness, though a faint glimmer gave away the location of the edges. Her gaze followed it, eyes widening. Now that she knew what to look for, she could make out hundreds of paths like the one on which she was standing, looping and crossing and intersecting. 

At the dead ends of the paths stood empty circles, each surrounded by a different design. Some had strange runes on the outside edges; others were more geometric, although they all had the same emptiness in the middle.

She shivered and rubbed her bare arms, wishing she’d kept the jacket from the cave.

“This is just a dream.”

 **No** , Ben’s soft voice rose above the whispers. **This is something else**.

Hearing his voice in this place stung. She remembered that conversation, remembered the surprising softness in his eyes and the partially healed scar crossing his face. 

“You’re a coward, whoever you are,” she spat to the stars, “Taunting me with a dead man’s voice.”

 **A natural part of life, death is** , came the scratchy response. Rey grit her teeth and pressed the flat of her palms against her eyes. There was no use arguing with this creature, whatever it was. She tried a different approach.

Forcing herself to take a deep breath, she cleared her throat and said, “I’m looking for someone.”

The same scratchy voice piped up again from another direction. **Looking for someone? Found someone you have, hmm?**

“That isn’t exactly what I meant.” Slumping her shoulders, Rey sunk to her knees and gazed up at the sky. Softly, she added, “I don’t even know who you are.”

 **Who are you?** Luke's voice echoed in the emptiness; his words stolen from their exchange in the tree on Ahch-to. The voices fell silent.

“I…” She stopped, suddenly unsure of the answer. It felt wrong to use the Skywalker name here, but without it she would have to face the identity she’d been running from for so long. “I’m–”

 **Rey from nowhere,** continued Luke dryly.

Above her, Finn’s words from their last conversation rang out. **The last Jedi.**

 **You.** Kylo Ren hissed from behind. **A scavenger.**

 **Rey Skywalker** , came her own voice, overlapping Kylo’s deep tones. **You’re a Palpatine** , his modulated voice insisted **.**

 **Just Rey.** She remembered smiling while saying those words; had they always sounded so sad?

The Emperor cackled ahead. **My granddaughter** , he crooned. Rey flinched.

 **You’re nothing.** After two years, the statement still hurt, although with the benefit of hindsight she wondered if it would be easier to still be no one. **But not to me.**

Ben’s voice faded with the others back into the quiet whispers, as if nothing out of the ordinary had occurred.

The pathway in front of her blurred, and she swiped away hot tears with the back of her hand. Crying wouldn’t solve anything. Rey pushed herself to her feet, locking her doubts into the furthest corner of her mind.

 _Rey Skywalker is a good name,_ she reassured herself. _You’re carrying on the legacy. It’s what Luke and Leia would have wanted._

She hoped so, anyway.

Something moved in the distance, catching the corner of her eye. Rey peered into the darkness. There were no life forms ahead, she’d have felt them, but there was… something. She found herself walking along the narrow pathway, trying to catch a glimpse of motion.

A flicker from the right – yes, there – she turned to follow the path, and then she heard it.

**Wait, Ben, NO!**

A crash followed, and Luke’s cry was cut off abruptly. “Master Skywalker!” Rey broke into a sprint, her lightsaber clutched in one hand.

She narrowly avoided falling off the edge of the path, then skidded around the corner and stopped abruptly. The pathway dead ended into one of the strange circles, but she was sure the voice had come from this direction. Moving closer, she stared at the strange markings on its circumference, and the smooth plane in the middle.

The slate grey surface blurred, shadows rearranging themselves, and then Rey was staring back at her own pale face.

The hairs on the back of her neck stood on end. Around her the air was unnervingly silent.

**KRRRRRRRRCKCKCK**

White hot lightning licked across the mirror and fractured the image. Rey jumped back with a yelp, expecting to feel its heat on her face. She looked around wildly, trying to find the source of the blast. On the path beneath the stars, the world was as quiet as it had been a moment ago.

She turned back to the mirror in front of her, expecting cracks on its surface from the lightning, but the expanse was smooth. Unbroken. Her wide eyes stared back at her.

As she watched, the image rippled and changed, morphing into a hellscape of fire and crumbling walls. A lone figure charged toward the blaze, his lanky frame outlined starkly against the brilliant flames.

“No,” she whispered, fear knotting in her gut.

Another flash, and he was thrown backwards, crying out in pain as he landed. Rey winced as she watched him fall, her eyes widening again when she realized that the building had been struck by the same lightning that had sent him flying.

The figure stirred and rolled over slowly, pulling himself onto his knees, his face still in shadow. There was something about the set of his shoulders that seemed familiar, although Rey knew she’d never witnessed this scene before.

He slumped, and the light shifted across his features. Rey sucked in a breath. That hair, curling wetly around his jaw; the overly full lips parted in shock beneath a long nose, his face smudged with soot. The dark eyes failing to blink back the tears that dripped down his cheeks.

It was Ben.

It wasn’t _her_ Ben, though. The longer she looked, the more differences she saw. This Ben was unquestionably younger, perhaps closer to her own age. He wore the light robes of a Jedi, and the lightsaber at his belt reflected silver in the fire, not black.

This was Ben before he became Kylo Ren.

The young man looked around desperately. **I never…** he began. **I didn’t want this.**

 **And you did not choose it,** replied Snoke’s voice, echoing in the gloom. **The JEDI did. Skywalker.**

Rey stared at the burning building. This… this had been the night the Jedi temple was destroyed. She had thought – Ben had _let her think_ – that he had destroyed it. Hadn’t he told her as much?

And yet, here was proof in front of her eyes that this, too, was another way Palpatine had manipulated him. He hadn’t destroyed the temple, it had been Snoke. Familiar hatred burned in her veins. This wasn’t his _fault_. He looked so lost, so alone, and everyone in his life had failed him.

 _You’re not alone_ , he’d reassured her so long ago in front of a different fire. If only she could be with him at this moment, letting him know that someone was out there who cared. Rey reached out a hand toward his face, despite knowing she couldn’t get farther than putting a palm to the surface. The mirror seemed warm, almost, as she approached it.

“Rey, wait, STOP!”

A hand grabbed her wrist and pulled her away from the surface seconds before she would have reached it. Rey gasped in surprise and wrenched her arm from the unfamiliar grasp, spinning around while igniting her lightsaber.

Her golden saber struck two pure white blades crossed in front of their owner, sending sparks flying into the darkness and vibrations down her arms. The assailant pushed her back toward the mirror, and Rey slid backward along the narrow path. Flexing her hands, she observed him standing before her.

He lowered his weapons slightly and took a half step toward her. Under a thick, white hood his features were invisible. She narrowed her eyes, waiting, motionless, for an opening. The figure took another step.

The saber in his right hand lowered once more, and Rey saw her chance. With a flick, she engaged the other side of the lightsaber and charged her opponent.

He met her again with crossed blades, but unlike before, when he’d had the element of surprise on his side, she was ready.

With a shout Rey twisted out of his hold and swung around, using the momentum to slice her saber up toward his head. He blocked easily, parrying her blow with one of his own. The other white blade slashed at her face, and she barely ducked out of its way, feeling its heat as it passed her. Letting out a breath, she took a moment to regain her footing, her opponent switching to a low stance ahead of her.

Twirling her yellow blade, Rey rushed him, jabbing forward and then cutting upward with the other end. He blocked again, her saber glancing harmlessly off the edge of his. With his other hand he spun to a reverse grip and shoved, sending her back again.

She chanced a glance behind her. She was being forced back to the dead end.

_Focus, Rey._

Pushing down her rising anger she paused for a moment, letting the Force flow through her. She breathed deeply, feeling its energy in her body.

_Center yourself._

Rey raised her weapon again, squared her shoulders, and lunged. She feinted left, bringing her back blade forward over her head to catch the attacker’s right side. Shifting back, she brought the other side up, twisting the white blade out of his hands and flinging it into the abyss. 

His head turned, watching it fall, and Rey swore she heard a laugh. She slashed at him but met only air where he’d previously stood.

Behind her a gentle thud indicated where he’d landed. His knees, still bent from the impact of his jump, straightened as she watched him resume his stance with a single saber held aloft. He struck forward, lightning fast, and she countered, then countered again.

Back, forward, up, down, slashing and turning and trying to get an edge in, Rey tried to focus on disarming her opponent. Her hands began to cramp, and she grimaced, pushing away the fatigue that was slowly settling in. It was time to end this fight, one way or another.

Rey barred her teeth and lunged, sweeping one end of her saber under the attacker’s legs. He jumped back, stumbling slightly, and she took the opportunity to close the distance between them.

Her blade drew even with the hooded figure’s neck. In such close quarters she could hear him panting under his cloak, and she edged her weapon closer. “Surrender.”

A slight pressure on her abdomen made her flinch, and she stole a glance at her stomach, where one silver handle met the cloth of her shirt. “Your move, kid.” Rey glared at him (her? the voice sounded feminine), and the saber pressed harder against her.

“Who are you?” she demanded.

“I’ll make you a deal. You don’t cut off my head, and I won’t ignite this.”

A long moment passed. Neither Rey nor her adversary moved; two opponents locked in a deadly stand-off amid the stars. The other spoke again, softer than before.

“Rey,” she began (after hearing her again, Rey was relatively sure this was a woman), “I don’t want to hurt you. I want to help you.”

Rey’s blade trembled in her hands, but she remained locked in place. “You certainly have a strange way of helping me.”

“Oh Force, I thought Skyguy was stubborn. Look,” she said, withdrawing her weapon, finally, from Rey’s stomach and raising her hands, “I’m not going to stab you. Can you please stand down, and we can talk like civilized people?”

After staring at the hooded woman for a moment longer, Rey withdrew her blade. Without the golden glow, the expanse surrounding them seemed cavernous and cold. She shivered in spite of herself, rubbing her hands over her exposed arms.

A soft white cloak settled over her shoulders. She turned, surprised, and for the first time saw the face of her opponent.

On the pathway before her stood a young Togruta, maybe an inch or so shorter than herself and a few years older. Under the cloak she’d been wearing close-fitting leather and cloth, with small gloves protecting her hands. White and blue striped lekku and montrals framed a kind face which was pulled into a half smile, although her blue eyes seemed sad.

As Rey watched, she extended one hand to the emptiness and closed her eyes in concentration. A few seconds later, her lost lightsaber flew to meet her, and she clipped both to her belt before turning to face Rey.

“Ahsoka Tano,” she said, extending a hand. “It’s nice to finally meet you.”

Rey reached out to grasp her hand, blurting out the first thing that came to mind. “I’m sorry I tried to cut your head off.” She cringed as soon as the words left her mouth.

Ahsoka laughed, relinquishing her grasp, and gently patted Rey on the shoulder. “Believe me, it’s not the first time. Probably won’t be the last, either.” She readjusted the cloak so that it covered more of Rey’s body.

Rey stared at her. Not two minutes earlier they’d been locked blade to blade, and now this strange woman – Ahsoka – was acting as if they’ve been friends for years. She didn’t know much about Force ghosts, or Jedi in general, but this seemed unusual.

Then again, she could count on one hand the number of lightsaber battles in which she’d actually fought someone else who had a lightsaber, so maybe this was just what Jedi did. Threaten to disembowel you, and then offer you their hand and cloak. She shook her head.

“You spoke to me, didn’t you? A few weeks ago?” Her voice had been familiar even before she’d introduced herself, although it had taken a while to place where she knew it from.

Ahsoka’s smile faded, and her eyes grew serious. “I did. I wasn’t sure you’d listen, though. I’m glad you’re here.” Glancing around them, she added, “Let’s go where the path is wider.”

She turned and walked toward the main pathway, Rey on her heels. Whispers followed them, gently drifting past into the dark sky.

***

“Tell me first what you’ve already figured out for yourself.”

Rey pursed her lips, running through the last few days in her mind. “I have… theories,” she began, “but I’m not sure if any of them are true.”

Ahead of her, Ahsoka turned and smiled, pausing on the path. “Maybe not. I have my own theories, though, and I’d like to see if any of them match up with yours.”

“You mean you don’t have any actual answers?”

“This isn’t exactly precedented, kid,” called Ahsoka over her shoulder. She stopped walking when she realized that Rey was no longer behind her but standing in the middle of the walkway, glaring at her. “You know, you frown a lot for someone who’s supposed to be a Jedi.”

“I’m not – “

“ – the point is,” she continued, “that there hasn’t been a dyad in over 3000 years. The last one was a set of twins who, as far as I can tell, died peacefully in their old age.” She looked steadily back at Rey. “Ben was ripped out of the world before it was his time, right after giving most of his life energy bringing you back. That seems to have changed the circumstances.”

Rey frowned and hurried to catch up to her. “I don’t understand. Is he here? I thought he’d…” What word had Maz used? “…Splintered.”

“That’s what I think too. And no, he’s not here. Well. Most of him isn’t.”

Rey waited for a few moments for her to elaborate, but Ahsoka had fallen back into a contemplative silence. It was beginning to become frustrating. “So, he is… fractured?” Silence. “Where is he, if he’s not here? Where even is here?” 

Ahsoka sighed. “I promise I’ll tell you everything I know, but please try to be patient.”

“Patient? I don’t even know what I’m doing here – how can I be patient? We’re wasting our time.”

 **We’re wasting our time,** agreed one of the voices. Ahsoka snorted.

“Fine, go sit over there.” She gestured to a wider section of the path. Rey complied, eyeing her closely. “Now, to answer your… fourth question, we’re in an in-between place. We’ve spoken here before.”

“I remember. You told me you’d help me.”

The Togruta gazed at her thoughtfully. “Tell me what you understand about this place.”

Rey pondered the question for a moment. _Everywhere and nowhere,_ Ahsoka had said. Maz had called it the world between. “The mirrors – they’re windows, aren’t they? The whispers I keep hearing, the images I saw of Ben and Luke’s temple…” She furrowed her brow. “It – it shows the past? Is that what you meant by in between? We’re between points in time?” 

She looked up to find Ahsoka grinning at her. “Yeah, for the most part. The World Between Worlds is its own pocket dimension, connecting every point from this timeline to every other point. Everything that has happened, is happening, and will happen is contained here.” Rey nodded, and she continued. “The portals aren’t windows, though. They’re doors.”

“Doors?”

“Yep. And you almost entered one.” Ahsoka smiled grimly at Rey’s horrified expression. “If you’d touched the portal, if you had gone through it…”

“I’d have changed the present,” she finished, staring at her. What she’d previously thought was an overreaction to touching a mirror made more sense, now, and Rey grudgingly admitted to herself that it may have warranted the wrist grab.

Ahsoka nodded. “The past is concrete. We can’t risk destroying the present by changing it. The future, though, is fluid. It can be changed.”

“And… I’m supposed to change Ben’s future?” Rey asked.

Frowning, she sat down across from her. “Both of your futures. Honestly, the future of the entire galaxy is at stake; I’ve seen what’s currently on track to happen and without the balance that you could have brought together it’s pretty bleak.” Catching Rey’s expression, she amended, “It isn’t written in stone, kid. You can’t alter your past, but luckily for you, Ben isn’t trapped in the past. He’s in the present.”

“Then why can’t I feel him? His end of the bond is empty. Even when I spoke to him, it didn’t feel right.”

“You spoke to him?”

Rey felt herself blush, and she ducked her head. “Before I came here, I had some sort of vision. Although,” she thought back to it, “it didn’t feel like a vision. More like… a visitation.”

“That explains your hair, then.”

Rey’s hand flew to the back of her head, where her fingers met a tight braid that was certainly too intricate for her own skill level. Without a mirror on board the X-Wing, she hadn’t realized that her hair looked any different than her normal tight buns. _A small gift from Ben,_ she smiled to herself, trying to keep her cheeks from reddening further.

Thankfully Ahsoka didn’t seem keen on pressing the issue, instead changing the subject with a smirk. “I’m assuming you were wearing that,” she pointed at the red crystal around Rey’s neck, “when you saw him?”

“I was holding it – I think that’s why he could finally be with me. Maz mentioned that his soul could have fractured, and we realized that because I’m…” she bit her lip, unsure of how to explain it, “…half of his soul, and the crystal was in his possession for so long, that because we were together there was enough for him to manifest for a while.

“That would mean,” she continued, considering her words carefully, “that I just have to find the rest of the pieces.” _Could it really be so simple?_ “You mentioned something about timelines. Is that – does that have something do with why I can’t feel him?”

Ahsoka stay silent for a long moment, folding her legs to settle comfortably into a lotus position. Finally, she said, “Close your eyes.”

“Why?”

“Will you just do it? Force, kids these days.”

Rey huffed, and squeezed her eyes shut.

“Alright. Now, I want you to think back to the last day before you came here. Think about what you did, about your choices, your decisions. Got that?” Rey nodded. “Good. Now, I want you to consider what would have happened if you had chosen a different path. Where would you be now?”

“I may never have made it here.”

“Exactly. Your past choices determine your present reality.”

“But you said we couldn’t change the past.”

“And I meant that,” Ahsoka agreed. “However, just because we can’t change the past in this timeline, doesn’t mean that it didn’t happen in a different one. Remember those decisions you didn’t make? They still happened. They created a new timeline, one where Rey from yesterday wore different tunic, or waited for the rain to stop before coming to the cave.”

“I don’t understand.”

"Picture a timeline. Every single choice we make splits it - creates a new reality. Every single possibility that could be, is. Time isn’t linear, it’s more like a tree with millions of different branches splitting from one another. Every fracture point creates a new timeline. " 

Rey opened her eyes, frowning. "So Ben is just in a different timeline?"

She held her gaze steadily. "I don’t think it’s that simple. Ben's soul shattered when he brought you back, we know that much. There wasn't enough life in himself for it to hold onto. The pieces of him are in that," she gestured at the red crystal dangling at Rey’s throat, "and in you. I think there are also multiple fragments of him across several of the different realities.”

“How though? How am I supposed to find him?”

“A soul, particularly one as badly wounded as his is, needs a host. He’ll be within alternate versions of himself. You just need to figure out how to get the pieces of him out.”

Nodding slowly, Rey asked, “And me – I’ll be in an alternate version of myself, too?”

“I – yes, I think so.” For the first time, Ahsoka looked less than sure of herself. “To be honest, I’m not quite sure what’s going to happen. No one has ever done this before, and according to every law of nature it shouldn’t be possible to jump timelines. Almost everything we know about them is purely theoretical.

“On the other hand,” she continued, “a dyad isn’t meant to be separated. Your soul wants to be whole, which means that if anyone can find him, it’s you. You’re a part of each other.” Taking in Rey’s worried expression, she reached across their laps to lay a gentle hand on her arm. “You don’t have to go, Rey. The decision is yours. You are allowed to walk away.”

 _Decision, decision, decision._ The word echoed in Rey’s head. Here was another fracture point; she knew that the timelines would split again regardless of what she decided to do. The only question was which side of that choice she wanted to be on.

“I’ll do it,” she finally said, sounding more confident than she felt. “Tell me how to find him.”

“You’re sure? It won’t be easy. There’s no way to know what the other timelines are like. You’ll be a visitor in another person’s life. If something happens to you, you could both be lost.”

Rey nodded. “I can’t live with knowing that there was a possibility that I could save him, and I didn’t take it. And besides,” she said, “he would have done the same for me. It’s what we do.” She looked Ahsoka directly in the eyes. “Show me what to do.”

Ahsoka smiled, although the worried line between her eyes didn’t quite vanish. “I thought you’d say that. Alright, cross your legs, and close your eyes again. Try to relax.” She watched as Rey folded herself into the position.

“Good. Now, search for his signature.”

“I’ve tried, I can’t find it.”

“I want you to try again, but this time don’t look for a whole. Find the pieces.”

Find the pieces. Rey sunk into the Force, the vast interconnected web nearly overwhelming her senses. Reaching out her feelings, she opened the bond fully.

 _Oh._ Stretched before her, she saw it. There were tiny, fluttering pricks of energy within the chaos of the universe, an energy as familiar as her own and achingly bright. She approached the closest one, finding herself pulled toward its pulsing light.

She jerked out of her meditation before they could collide. “I found it. I know how to get there.” Rey looked at her teacher. “I don’t know how to thank you.”

“Don’t thank me yet.” Her eyes were grim. “Rey, there’s one more thing. The timelines happen simultaneously, so time won’t stop while you’re outside this reality. You will continue to age while inside the alternate versions of yourself, and if – when – you return, this universe will have gone on without you.”

“I understand.”

“One last thing – try to keep the lives of the other Rey’s intact as best you can. You’ll be sharing their bodies, so just … try not to do anything stupid.”

“I won’t.” Her eyes were surprisingly wet as stood. Ahsoka rose as well, and if she was blinking slightly more than normal neither woman mentioned it. There was an air of tension between them, the anticipation of Rey’s journey looming in the darkness.

Ahsoka pulled her into a hug, her arms wrapped tightly around the younger woman. “Trust the Force, Rey,” she whispered. “It will be with you. Let it guide you back to him.” She stepped away, keeping her hands clasped on Rey’s shoulders. “Be safe. Come find me when all this is over. I’ll be waiting.”

Rey nodded, and closed her eyes, searching for the light.

“Oh, and Rey?” She opened them one last time to see Ahsoka’s laughing blue eyes locked on hers. “Make sure you ask your young man what those braids mean, whenever you get the chance.”

“I will,” she smiled back, then closed out the stars for the last time. Ben’s light drew her toward it, closer and closer, and then it consumed her.

***

Ahsoka Tano watched Rey’s form disappear, her hands dropping to her sides. “I hope I did the right thing,” she murmured under her breath. The whispers, silent through most of their conversation, had begun picking up again, although she received no response.

She glanced at the stars, then once again at the place the young woman had been only moments before, before starting off in the opposite direction.

“Force help them, they deserve a happy ending.”

Then the endless night swallowed her, and she too was gone. 

***

“The trials have begun.” A tall, pale man pacing a blank room spoke; his voice echoed in the small space as if he’d proclaimed the words into a cathedral.

Across the room a woman looked up at him. Her face reflected a dim glow, and her smile did not reach her cold, glittering green eyes. “I have felt it. Everything is happening as I had planned.”

“As you planned? You and I both know that we are merely vessels for the Force – perhaps stronger than mortals, but unable to dictate its whims. Still,” he stalked closer to her, lips pulled back in a mockery of a grin, “I do admire your scheming. I would not have thought you had it in you to gamble with such fragile lives.” His eyes glinted. “It is a shame she will fail.”

The woman rose from the low pallet she’d been sitting on and brushed off her skirts. “What makes you so certain?”

“She will fall and be lost. Can you not feel that too, sister? Can you not feel the darkness swirling within her? She is unbalanced. Dangerous.” He moved closer to her, brushing a long finger across her lily-white cheek. “Without the boy’s light she will be overcome, and I shall claim her.”

“You think too small, brother. Separated they are powerful; together they are stronger than life, than death… How long have we waited in the shadows for an opportunity such as this?

She turned from him, kneeling by the pallet. “Is it not remarkable,” she murmured, ghosting a hand over the forehead of the young man lying unconscious before her, “that after only a few decades we have come to possess the means to regain our full power? The Force has gifted us with half of the prophesied Dyad and the other travels to us now, collecting the pieces of his soul for us.”

Her brother smiled from the other side of the body, the red marks running parallel down his face twisting the expression grotesquely. “If this works, and she survives the other timelines and reaches us, I shall congratulate you on your scheme. If she fails, I _shall_ claim her. After all,” he said, his gaze flickering to her hand twisting in the dark threads of the man’s hair, “you’ve already received a prize, and it seems only fair that I get the other one.” 

“We must not interfere,” she warned.

“I wouldn’t dream of it.” He moved back toward the wall, falling back into step to continue pacing the perimeter of the room. “We must trust in the Force to do what is right.”

“Then we have a deal,” she said, and smiled again. “We shall watch, and we shall wait until the time is right.”

“All is as the Force wills it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! Sorry for the delay, this chapter kicked my butt, and then the world decided to go crazy. I'd love your feedback, especially on the lightsaber fight (I've never written any kind of fight scene before, so there was quite a learning curve), and on the idea of jumping timelines. 
> 
> Next up: Rey reaches the first alternate universe. Stay tuned!


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